shitty perception shifts

many of my revelations occur in the midst of yoga.  (frankly it's been a source of frustration because then it's a choice between writing or yoga.  since I have not mastered the art of doing 2 things at once, I have to choose).

Silly eye candy not relevant to story :)

it's not a secret that meditation can be effective in discovering hidden personal truths.  my choice of meditation is prayer in combination with wiifit yoga.  it doesn't get more stay at home mom on a budget than that, folks!

over time (and with discipline.  ugh), it's become apparent to me that the occasional revelation (which really feels, more like a sarcastic headline in my brain), is not meant for me alone.  that is to say, if these personal moments of clarity improve my outlook, wouldn't they improve yours, too?  just sayin.  

anyhoo...today's headline, Offer to Him that of which He has asked of me. 

whoa.  that was a "what the Hell" moment right there.  knocked me off the tree pose!  

this all came out of a quiet thought niggling in the back of my brain that was tired of always "fessin' up".  perception change: focus on doing something good for Him instead of always asking for help to change.  

how obvious is that?  instead of focusing on all the shitty things I do (you might as well fess up too), why not focus on 1 thing He asks of us? 

I'm talking something small and thought provoking...like choosing words carefully when we speak, or be not quick to anger.  (seriously, I know there's some smart ass out there who's saying, ok today my challenge is to not kill my boss.  does not count).

wouldn't a small gesture be the equivalent of a shout out on fb sayin, "Hey there, thinking of you" kinda thing?

hows that for changing perceptions?  lets pick 1 shitty thing we may do and not do it.  hmmm.  posting something nasty about the guy who cut you off.....or blowing it off and showing grace.

one is more fun, but the other is a lot less aggravating.  

anyway, that's todays headline.  for all those crazy christians out there, check out Proverbs for inspiration on that 1 thing.        ~ yvette.

Save the Mani--Pull Some Weeds

It was another beautiful day today and for the first time I was able to get out in the yard. Yippee!  The weeds have been taunting me—such a bad idea.  The dilemma? Yesterday Mom treated Raynee & I to a special Mother / Daughter / Granddaughter day and I chose a mani.  French Tips…Thanks Nails 2000 Battle Ground!

I rarely get manicures because I love digging in the dirt.  And painting, sanding, cutting and building.  Not that I really build stuff, I just want to.  Needless to say, I’m notorious for smudging at least one fingernail before ever leaving a salon parking lot.  Not only is it disappointing, but expensive, too!  Did I mention that I LOVE  the manicure? 

 Before I go any further, it’s important to say  “Thanks Mom! Thanks for such a relaxing and                      fun girly-girl day.  It was really special for both Raynee & I”.    

Back to the dirt.  If the seeds don’t get in the ground soon, there will be no garden this summer.  Pondering how to accomplish the job at hand and preserve my pretty nails, I remember the plastic disposable gloves in the garage.  Wheels start turning and a plan is devised.  

  

It was too simple.  Put on the plastic gloves first; then the gardening gloves.  At roughly 80 degrees, the possibility of sweaty hand crossed my mind; but overall, not so bad, really.  One thing I should point out:  when purchasing gloves, don’t go cheap!  Think of it as an investment.  I’ll pay a couple extra dollars any day for better gloves.  They last longer than ten minutes and fit better.  In the long run, its money saved.

One very satisfying weed execution...er...hour later:

Woot!  Full wheelbarrow :)

The experiment proves to be a success!  Yay me J!   

Pardon my personal High-5.  It’s so exciting when an idea actually works!  

My fingertips are still a Marilyn Monroe-White.   Wow, right?  In fact, the only evidence of gardening at all would be the ring of dirt between my watch and wrist.  That’s much more like it.  The kicker?  My hands are not red, rough or dry.  On a normal gardening expedition, I have to slather lotions and potions on my hands for relief.  Always topping them off with Mary Kay Extra Emollient Cream to trap in the moisture.  Only one coat tonight!

To celebrate my victory, please enjoy these photos from my garden.  It’s one of the most beautiful creations on the planet…flowering blueberry bushes.  The best is yet to come!

 Judging by the quality / colors of these photos, it’s apparent writing is more my strength.  Please don’t send helpful hints,  it'll only get worse. 

As for the garden, one box down and a whole summer to go.  

 Ooooo, and look at the new job has been mentally added to Raynee's Summer Vacation chore list:  sweeping walkways in and out of garden.  I know she will love it :)~ 

I hope this was a fun read and maybe even helpful.   For more tips, check out my facebook page:   www.facebook.com/YvetteElrodDoncasterStylistfeaturingMaryKay. 

Lastly, remember Mom's everywhere this Sunday, especially if you have a Mom as great as mine.  Personally, I have not met one Mom that has been fully appreciated. 

Try to enjoy one of your own passions; if not today, then soon. ~Yvette

Sometimes I just think funny.  If I'm fortunate, sometimes I have a journal around when I do.  Some of you may know that I've been dipping my toe into writing, specifically, kidlit.  Kid Literature, specifically.  As much as I like the word in itself (Kidlit is a fun word to say).  On the other hand, it's difficult for me to throw it out there, as if I've heard it before 2 weeks ago.  

There is one particular style of writing that lacks appeal, and it's poetry.  Poetry is not my thing.  Don't make me repeat myself.  Not a fan.  [However, it's important to know that I respect people who do  get poetry.  I just don't really want to read it and I prefer it stays behind closed doors, much like sexual preferences and political agendas.  I have boundaries.

With that said, a funny thought came to me this evening--in the form of poetry.  But I had a pen and wrote it down and thought I would share it with you.  So, here it is, not totally unpolished (look, it's late, I'm tired and if it doesn't get posted now it won't ever get posted).  Hopefully you'll stick with it relatively painlessly.   It's where I'm at tonight.  

     As girls we hold hands and kittens,
     at 16, cigarettes.
     20's fly by with cocktails and addictions.
     Thirties hold diapers and Doctorates,
        
     At forty we lose time....
     Lose Grace.
     Some look Death in the face.

     As Fifty rears, 
     one thing is clear:
     We need to hold on to what is dear.
     Time to Let go of the anger, while holding the Cross.

     Whatever 60 holds, 
     I hope it's Grace.
     It seems to be lacking in this time & space.  

That's it.  Have a good night.  ~Yvette

The Fear Of Grandma Clara

My daughter experiences night terrors now and again, less frequently than the preschool years, thank goodness.  The bouts are fairly predictable, typically followed by lengthy conversations.[1]  Sometimes I just hang out with her, telling stories about various people in our lives.  The most popular by far are Grandma stories.  Whether it’s my Mother, Grandmother or Great Grandmother, she soaks up every word and asks for more.  Now that she’s a bit older, I think it’s time to tell her a surprising story about my Great Grandma Clara. 

Great Grandma Clara (AKA Grandma Clara, because our clan is just not that formal), was a force to be reckoned with; a battle ship holding the line and deflecting bullets.  I spent a large portion of my childhood at her modest home in North Dakota.  I still remember the ornate wrought iron patio set out front, painted white.[2]  Considered tall at 5’7”, Grandma Clara was a staunch German woman that people feared and respected—at least in my mind.  And Heaven Forbid if anyone messed with her apple tree!  I heard tell she once spanked a kid all the way home, then chewed out the parents!  Oh, how they hated to see her coming, too.  I think they were more scared than the kids!   

It was quite a shock to learn that when Grandma Clara was younger, she was fearful, even terrified at times.   Sadly, I have little knowledge of our family history; mostly cherished memories passed around the table after a filling holiday dinner.  Her large German family came to Ellis Island from Russia.  She married and moved to a farm in North Dakota.  A few years down the road, her husband had a heart attack, leaving Grandma behind with a gaggle of mouths to feed.  Because women were not allowed to own property, even as a widower, she and the kids were evicted from the farm.  (Isn’t that a strange?  It seems so foreign compared to the culture we live in today). 

As the story goes, Grandma Clara moved the family to the nearest town and started working in a restaurant.  No matter what the circumstance, that woman could COOK.  That’s a whole ‘nother story.[3]  Then she met a nice man, George.  They got married and the family grew.[4]     

Now, I’m not exactly clear whether or not Grandma Clara was always afraid, what she was afraid of, or why she was afraid.  But from what I understand, here’s how it ended: 

Late--very late--one night, Grandma heard the front door opening.  Grandpa was working graveyard at the railroad a block away (no one locked their doors back then) yet the door was opening and in stumbled a dark figure.  It must have been dark, because Grandma couldn’t see who was coming through the door.  But her reaction was not that of the strong woman I remember standing at the kitchen sink, deftly peeling potatoes and scrubbing fresh cucumbers from the garden for pickling.   The truth is that Grandma Clara started screaming in terror; crying and cowering into a corner.  

Now, the reason this story was passed along was not to shame my Grandmother, but to poke fun at the neighbor.  You see, the next door neighbor had a little too much to drink after work, and walked into the wrong house!  He was three sheets to the proverbial wind, inebriated, and just plain old fashioned shnockered.  Honestly, I would’ve freaked out too, if someone walked in to my house, drunk or not.  Neighbor or not! 

This is where it really gets interesting; the part I want to share with my little girl.   Grandma Clara was filled with fear.  She was also filled with determination and strong will.  It was her strong will that pushed her family through a storm of grief.  I suspect there was no small part of her that was humiliated once the neighbors started talking, too.   

This incident proved to be pivotal in her life.  From that point on, Grandma Clara stopped being afraid.  She vowed to never let her fear distract her from truth and reality.  Whatever the driving factor was, a stronger woman stood before her family and the world. 

By the time I came along, Grandma Clara was a different woman.  Hardened in some ways, but ever practical, stern and loving.  We enjoyed each others’ company and I learned many things from her over the years.  Cooking, unfortunately, was not one of the things.   Her strong-will (even when she was clearly in the wrong) has carried onto her great, great granddaughter.  This is the story my determined yet fearful daughter needs to hear.  She is just as strong, just as courageous and just as loving as my Great Grandma Clara. 

---

[1] To the degree of entrapment.  Honestly that child can drag out a conversation!

[2] By me, every summer

[3] My stomach grieves the memory of her pickles.

[4] She had all boys after the first born daughter--my Grandma Genny!

Gods & Monsters

I had an interesting conversation with Raynee today.  Well, actually two that neatly coincided with the opportunity to really talk to her about God.  Not the biblical aspect, that’s why we go to Awana’s and Sunday school. 

Currently, we are going through a mild version of the Night Terror stage.  One thing I will say is that for her it’s very real and she struggles nightly to stay awake.   Surprisingly, there’s only been a few nights has she crawled into bed with us.   Truth be told, both Mitch & I enjoy the snuggle time.  Until that sweet little foot nails me in the throat. 

It’s been frustrating and painful, yet her coping mechanism is so impressive for her age.  From the very first evil Disney character—Ursula—she established an imaginary alliances.  For example:  when she was 2 1/2 –ish and would get spooked at night, she would tell Ursula to guard the bedroom door and keep the monsters out.  Cripes, I didn’t think of that until I was 4 or 5. 

Roughly two years later, I’ve had to co-chair “meetings” to organize Team Villain.  On three different occasions we’ve had to call in the ladies: Evil Queen from Snow White, Evil Queen Maleficent, Ursula, and Cruella, just to name a few.  Let’s not forget the boys: Jafar, Sully and Mikey (led by “Her Boy” Randall from Monsters Inc.).   True story.  Had all the entrances and perimeter covered. 

As mentioned before, this phase has been challenging for her.  But today an opportunity dropped in my lap and quite frankly it was one of my better Mommy moments.  It began in a conversation on the way to school (and I pray we’ll be able to talk like this until she’s 50).   Casually, she mentions that she’s unable to sleep and wakes up often.  This is making her tired, understandably.  Without offering any advice, I try a different approach. “That must be very frustrating”, and let her continue to talk.

 

This has been weighing heavy on my heart and our options are running low.  We’ve even moved her furniture around and repositioned her bed.  Last week I suggested she where her glasses at night (thinking if she could see clearly it would ease her mind).  Nope.  This is one of many, many things that she’s going to have to overcome on her own.  Sigh.

After school, she was mentions how mad she is at Randall.  Apparently, she’s been asking him to come out and protect her at night.  But he isn’t coming.  Quietly I hear, “That’s because he isn’t real, Mom”, she says sadly.  Here we go, folks.  Hope I don’t blow it.  “I’ve got a secret for you, honey. Monsters aren’t real, either.”  My big moment had a hell of an impact--she stopped talking.  I could feel her processing that concept.  Giving myself a mental pat on the back, I ask what she wants for lunch. Little did I know that my real opportunity was only a few hours away, at bedtime. 

Lately, Daddy has entered the building and is rocking her world.  Our bedtime routine has shifted a bit and Daddy reads books before bed now.  I still get my goodnight moment, then I’m off to do my thing.   Tonight, as I pass her room, she runs out to ask me if I could sleep in her room tonight, because of the monsters.  Not quite sure how to handle it, I put her off for a moment.  Her disappointment resonated, but sleeping in her room will not resolve anything (except ease her mind for one night.  I feel so shitty).   She goes back to snuggle with Dad while I wash the day’s chaos off my face. 

Once my mind is clearer (insert joke here), I return to her room.  Still no idea what to say yet, I sit down next to her (Mitch is almost asleep) and just be with her for a minute.  Out of no where, the words just come out of my soul. 

“Remember the verse from Awana’s class tonight?  Trust in the Lord”?  Her sleepy eyes sadly look away.  “Remember today in the car when you said Randall isn’t real”?  Her eyes cut to me and I have her attention.  “Well, since we know that Randall isn’t real, but God is, why don’t we ask God to watch over us instead? 

I continue, "You know, he has soooo many angels, over a million at least”.  “Does he have one for me”?  Now her eyes are wide and words are hopeful. “I know he does.  He has lots.  Did you know that Mommy believes God has given her at least five Guardian Angels and I believe he has some for you, too.  All you have to do is ask Him”.  For the first time, I see hope in her eyes and the wheels turning in her lightning-quick mind. 

“And you wanna know a secret?  He’s already been watching over you.  Ever since you were born.  Because He loves you so much.  Just like me”.

It’s so rare when I get something right. 

Common Sense strikes again!

Twenty years ago, my skin care routine consisted of witch hazel and Lubriderm. (Lubriderm.  icky word.  Don't they have a marketing department)?  While most people find this appalling, my wonderful friend Dawn—who, by her own proclamation knows scads of interesting factoids on a variety of topics--has enlightened me.  Apparently, witch hazel is in fact good for the skin.  (Admittedly, I’ve already forgotten why.  Honestly, my brain only wants the bottom line.  Everything gets too muckly after that).

 In spite of simplistic grooming habits, my appearance is that of a much younger person.  Not from any “routine” by any measure.  The good Lord blessed me with the skin (and energy) of a thirty-something woman.  It’s my belief that in His wisdom, He blessed me with the gift of youth.  To make up for the obvious lack of common sense. 

Yes, I’m aware of my “little problem”, typically it surfaces in the most quality of situations.  Like when people are around.  [“Hi, I’m Yvette and I lack common sense”.  You don’t see those meetings, do ya]?   Luckily, my spirit remains strong, resilient with an alarming lack of pride.

Here’s where I start to lose the male audience, AKA my sweet husband.  Upon receiving my MK Miracle Set (included in the business kit), an official “routine” began to fester.  I’ve always been a wash once, lotion once kind of girl—when I feel like it. It was a big leap of faith to drop Origins for MK.  Not to mention my Arbonne eye crème.[1]

With MK, there are 5 steps at night + morning stuff.  Cripes.  That notion seems worse than actually having to be somewhere on time.  Of course, there’s no requirement to use all the steps.  So I didn’t.   

It all started with the TimeWise cleanser and moisturizer.  The cleanser is kinda cool; because of these teeny red cleansing beads that gently exfoliate the day’s gunk away.  And they actually do freshen my skin!  The moisturizer itself is not as creamy as Origins, but looks (and smells) better.   

After about a week, my skin is clear with a fresh glow.  Pleased, I decide to sample the TimeWise Firming Eye cream.  The very idea of successfully tackling the problem eye area seemed promising.  Immediately, I loved this one.  It re-introduces the cream back into eye cream; feeling rich and smooth on my fingertips.  With my index finger, I blot spots in and around my eye lids. 

At this point, you may be envisioning a shiny clean face.  Yeah--not so much.   Water resistant mascara rarely comes off  completely with cleanser.  It does, however, create black raccoon-y smears around the eyes.  Pretty! 

As the cream fades the black robber mask, it almost immediately starts to sting.  Not intense or anything, but curious just the same.  Not wanting to be judgmental, I try it for two more nights.  Then Persistence kicks in (usually in my backside), and after a week the skin around my eyes are raw.  [My name is Yvette and I have no common sense].  Apparently, the cream is not meant for the eye LID, only the eye AREA.  What does that mean??  

To alleviate the sting, I just try the eye makeup remover.  It’s a groovy, clear, lava lamp-like oil mixture that just might soothe the sting.  Not so much, but it does a really nice job and eradicated mascara clumps and flakes.  An instant and unexpected hit!  As for the eye cream, all is not lost.  There are literally thousands of women who swear by the Firming Eye cream.  Luckily, MK has another option: the TimeWise Age Fighting eye cream.  I’m optimistic.  People, we have a routine.

Here’s a nifty thing:  the Firming Eye Cream comes in a dispenser that pumps just the right amount needed.  There are many of these dispensers in the Mary Kay line and are absolutely recyclable! 

Speaking of containers, I have to share another “behind the scenes” gem.  As mentioned previously, the MK corporation has dedicated themselves to giving back (MK goes pink for cancer, monetary donations to shelters, etc.).   In the spirit of our “Reduce, Recycle and Reuse” world, MK has implemented an aggressive recycling program in 2011: Pink Doing Green.  Scroll down for the blurb[2]:

Summing up:  1. A routine has been established, and my skin is loving it.  Well worth the extra steps.  2.  Hope is not lost on the quest for eye cream and I’ve recovered quickly.  3.  Mary Kay has a fantastic recycling program.  As for the business side, I’ve managed to meet my 50% mark without phone calls.  And I have no more clumpy eyelashes.  Life is pretty darned good.    

---

[1] Apparently, what used to be cute, Goldie Hawn-looking crinkly eyes (again, in my mind), have de-volved into “wrinkly, squinty pirate eyes”.  Honestly, sometimes it’s shocking to catch a glimpse of my reflection.  The appearance in my brain and that of reality are…let’s just say: different. 

[2] As part of our ongoing commitment to Pink Doing Green^SM, Mary Kay Inc. will plant one tree in the United States in partnership with the Arbor Day Foundation and the U.S. Forest Service for every 10 flip-top caps and/or color refill cases received by Mary Kay Inc. through December 2011 -- up to 100,000 trees.

The business kit arrives.....

My kit is here!  The box is larger than expected and I’m a little giddy to open it.  It doesn’t matter how old you are; when there is a package at your door—even if you know what it is—it’s a treat.

Inside there is a full set of Timewise Age Fighting Complex.  [Timewise skin care consists of four bottles: cleanser, night solution, day solution and moisturizer].  Big set of color samples (yay)!  Six shades of mineral powder foundation with super cool brushes. And…oh dear.  Lots of literature:  brochures, booklets, receipts and client information cards.  Big consultant handbook and….sweet!  Very nice date book[1] and a couple of cd’s.  Training cd’s.  Crap, what have I gotten myself into?

For a brief moment: buyer’s remorse.  Another home business, with the same lists of friends to contact and possibly support my new endeavor.  Just like the last two times.  Before anymore thoughts emerge, I mentally change direction and focus on reason[2]. 

Reason #1: I just got a steal of a deal just on the products in the box!  The Timewise set alone is $90 value, which is more the cost of the business kit.  If I could do math, I’ll bet that’s a pretty big discount.[3]  Don’t forget, it was the Timewise day solution that I used in “the upper lip experiment”.[4]  I’m truly excited to try the rest of the set and anticipate purchasing more when the time comes.[5]

Not to mention (and I didn’t), there are lots more goodies that didn’t make the cut for this article.  It was sad once the box was emptied.

Reason 2:  My sales approach is to focus on events—fun events—not home parties.  There may be a time when that may happen, but it won’t be the norm and when it comes, I should know all about Mary Kay by then, right??

Confidence timidly returns and I poke through the literature and I see this:  Domestic Abuse.  Well. That’s certainly not fun.  Another packet: Cancer.   Ugh. Isn’t it amazing how that word can knock you to your feet?  Memories of our family adventure with cancer are a bitter reminder of how essential it is to spend time with loved ones. 

I also remember Holly talked a bit about the Mary Kay Foundation last summer and the fun events her team join in to support cancer research.  We didn’t go into details and my brain processed it as nice information to look at later.  Now is later, so I check it out.  Pretty impressive stats:

1.   May 2010, the Foundation awarded $1.3 million in grants to select doctors and medical scientists focusing on curing cancers that affect women. These 13 recipients from across the United States received a $100,000 grant to conduct cutting-edge research.
Since 1996, the Foundation has given more than $14 million to support this effort. Read about how this research has resulted in breakthroughs, new discoveries and promising research.

2.  Every October, The Mary Kay Foundation observes National Domestic Violence Awareness Month by awarding grants to deserving women’s domestic violence shelters across the United States. In 2011, the Foundation awarded $20,000 grants to more than 150 women’s domestic violence shelters across the nation for a total of $3 million.  Each year, the Foundation awards a grant to at least one domestic violence shelter in every state.  Every state.

3.  Like so many other major manufacturers, Mary Kay has taken “Going Green” seriously and takes action to reduce, reuse and recycle.  Quick disclaimer:  Mk does not reuse / resell used or returned cosmetic / skin care.  I mean, it’s not like I looked that up.  That’s pretty nasty and unhygienic, so I’m just gonna go ahead and make the assumption.  

Overall, those are some big numbers and serious issues, not what you would associate with pink cadillacs and lip gloss.  Funny how I’ve been trying to overcome the stigmata associated with the image of a Mary Kay Consultant.  My close friend Vicki was a consultant for years; in fact that’s how we met!  Yet I didn’t really take notice how involved and positive the organization has become.  My brain would not, could not acknowledge anything other than pink lab coats and home facials.  How sad and embarrassing to admit. 
Still, there is a lot more to learn and thank goodness there are DVD’s to watch.  It will be so much more comfortable to understand the products and how they work.  Good thing I have a couple hours during preschool!  Ta for now, Y                                                    

---

[1] Just when Mitch had almost succeeded in bringing me into the new millennium by relying on my Droid for scheduling and such. 

[2] ‘Cuz I got so much “reason” stuff to spare.

[3] Lord, You Know I Love a Deal

[4] Still waiting for the wrinkles above my right upper lip to match the left side.

[5] At a %50 discount as a Mary Kay consultant.  Good lord, have I mentioned I love a good sale?