Holy “what do I do now” Batman.

As you can imagine, there’s a lot to learn in a new business.  As a MK client for 15 years, most would think that I know something—anything really—about the products.  However, my product consumption consisted mostly of one shade of lipstick.   And I can’t even remember the name of that most of the time.  But I’m a pretty good learner and with time, will be able to articulate intelligent and relevant information.[1] 

In order to get over my own hesitations about the MK product line, I had to try it.  I can read all the literature in the world.  The only way I’ll really be confident is to know what, if any, differences there are on my skin.[2]  To be honest, I didn’t think it would be obvious, and I’m so in love with my “much more expensive, only to be sold at exclusive locations” product line. [3]  Not to mention, it is a natural, organic and creamy alternative to conventional and toxic skin care lines available.[4]

The best scientific method I could think of that would not be another task in my day is to put my current skin care on the right side of my face and MK on the left.  Since the only thing I had on hand is the Timewise Age Fighting moisturizer with SPF 25 [5]; It’s not a fair fight.  But I gave it a shot anyway.

Three days go by with my half and half experiment and I’m waiting for the first blemish to arrive.  Most women on the planet expect a reaction when there is a big change in caring for your skin.  We always hope the new stuff works better than what we’ve already got, but we have to get through the eruption stage first.  16 or 60.  Doesn’t matter how old.  It’s great. Funny thing, I did get a little stinger, but it was on the “O” side!

Meanwhile, I dip my toe into the MK consultant website.  I’m fairly tech savvy and have experience with home businesses, so I expect to get lost and screw up my future client list within 20 minutes.  Instead, it’s more organized than my sock drawer[6] and I have my first client entered within 10 minutes.  Thanks, Mom!  It was easy to maneuver, and Yikes!  SOOOOO much to learn.  I admit, I’m a little scared.  My mantra becomes, “concentrate on the “experiment” and wait for the kit.  And hope it’s not pink.”

So here’s the thing.[7]  To convince myself and others that I was cool and worthy to hang out with, I started smoking in high school.  Predictable defiance; yeah, that’s me.  After 15 years I quit in spit and starts.  Finally I pulled it off and it’s stuck since ’93. Yes, I get that some of you reading this were born around then—shush.  The thing is that almost 20 years later creases have developed above my lip.  I mean, they are not like crevasses that water would stream through (yet), but it’s been annoying the shit out of me lately.

Not that I’m fixating, but if I could will them to go away with my mind, they would almost be gone by now.  But wait a minute….they are not nearly as deep on the left side----The Mary Kay side!  Get the [&^%#] OUT.  I’m stunned into silence.  There is an obvious difference in appearance, and that was only using the day moisturizer[8].  It’s superior in quality and significantly less expensive. 

Remember, the point of this blog is to share with you my journey of starting a home business in a world-wide market that is considered to be saturated with consultants.  In light of past experiences, I’m not as confident going into this.  My focus is to concentrate on the events I can put together for my friends to enjoy, replenish their skin care / cosmetic products when the time comes and of course to purchase my private stock at 50% off.  Man I love a discount.

So color me surprised as I can’t wait to get my Timewise Night moisturizer.  I gotta get the right side of my face up to speed!  The downside is that there are 2 very expensive jars of disappointment on my counter with no where to go but in the can.

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[1] In a rather sassy and fun way, with a side of physical comedy to the entertainment of many.

[2] I swear, there are days I can see the skin on my neck actually deteriorate. 

[3] For the purpose of this blog, I will refer to that product line as “O”.

[4] Yeah, I’m green. Ish.

[5] Yeah, I said age.  You gotta problem with that?

[6] I’m quite proud of my sock drawer.  It’s representative of how my house would look if I had my way.

[7] I told you there is always a thing.

[8] I had to use it at night too.  Since I only had the Day moisturizer, I had to double dip, so to speak. 

What is she doing now??

I never could have foreseen the depths of my craziness.  Who can, I suppose.  Yet, here I am, attempting to write a quick “shout out to my girlfriends” to let them know that I’ve moved on into another yet another venture.  This time: Mary Kay.  No shit.  [1]

Here’s the thing:[2]  This time, it’s different.  Of course Everyone Always says that.  I’ve said that.   The Home parties, endless phone calls, leaning on your best friend to hand over the “Little Blue Bestie book”[3].  Even calling the friends you’re not really that crazy about!  But here me out and I’ll let you be the judge.

I’ve become friends with a local woman whose morals, values, and kindness have stood the test of time.  She has earned a stellar reputation by putting her family first, God second, her job third.  And she’s cute as all get out. Picture a red headed Betty from the Archie’s all grown up:  smart, put together, in control with a great sense of humor and a little comedy every now and then.  Who doesn’t want to hang out with that chick?

Here’s the cool thing:  she wants to work with me.  I know that sounds snarky on so many levels.  But here is a successful person that works well with me; whose track record is bar none and we have fun together.  Who doesn’t want to go to work with that person?

Let’s get down to the nitty gritty of it.  Mary Kay.  Pink cars, big hair, crème makeup.  One of the original MLM’s and growing strong.  Outstanding attendance at charity events, raising phenom $$’s for breast cancer.  50% of every dollar sold and no quota.  50% off personal products (that I already use.  Can’t get that deal at Macy’s). 

The #1 reason that really pushed me (kicking and screaming, might I add), is that I don’t have to have parties.  Or invite friends over to view my perpetual state of chaos (home) and worse, begging my friends to clean theirs!  No phone calls, unless I choose to. 

Okay, there’s a #1 reason part 2.  The events.  My passion has always been planning events.  In order to promote my last home business[4], I pitched an entire women’s fair to the local PTA, just so I could have a booth to contact new clients.   The PTA gig didn’t happen, so I put together my own fair.  22 booths, school gym, insurance, advertising, the works in less than 2 months.  The most fun I’ve had in a long time. 

That’s where my heart is, planning events.  What can I do to make a party?  The natural thought that may be crossing your mind is, “why doesn’t she just get a job as an event coordinator?”  Three words:  money, time, employer.

For the last year, Mary Kay has been co-marketing events with my [ Master] photographer friend.  Every event—even if only ten woman came—was a success.  Picture facials, GOOD hair stylists, Master photographer photo session, jewelry, and a lot of very happy women. 

As for the product; it’s been a battle for me to get over the stigma associated with Mary Kay.  Yet at many of the twelve events last year there were women who never used Mary Kay.  Never.  How that happens, I don’t know.  But the products are pretty good for the most part.  They must be, as I’ve got a bathroom peppered with those little pink and black bottles. 

To recap:  Yeah, it’s another home business for me.  I get to work with a fun gal, who I know works well with me and there’s no gossip or drama.  I get to try out new event ideas and invite my friends for a girls night.  If they want to make an order, great.  If they bring two friends I’ll be able to give them a discount.  If they are dirt poor, they can count on me to get out of the house with no obligation to purchase products.  Just come and have fun. 

Oh, and my personal orders (for products I already buy) will completely cover the $75 fee for purchasing the business in less than a year.  Passing up a deal has never been my strength.  Money not withstanding.

So, here's the plan: continue to put together fun events for women who really need to get out and breathe for just a bit.  Chat, bond, have some wine, and bitch just a little.  If they happen to need some mascara or mineral powder foundation, well I’ll be happy to get that for you, too.  

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[1] This is my first attempt at a blog.  My propensity to swear like a sailor will be kept at a minimum and I apologize to those with delicate (and classier) sensibilities.

[2] There’s always a thing.   It’s part of my M.O.  No one to blame but me.

[3] Like she has better friends than me.  Really?

[4] Picture me embarrassed, head in hands.  I may end up on a reality show for people who keep starting home businesses only to fail.